With Open Arms, She Choss Love

Majuske's The Humbled Heart

I saw the look in her eyes this morning. Her eyes starved for a love. A love she longed to have and share with another. Her heart met with a sense of sadness, and in her way she could communicate she denied herself of the love she so wanted saying, “I don’t need love,” “I am a mother,” “I have enough love in my heart.” Then she heard, “you know a child loves his mother in the best way he can. He has a small cup compared to the big cup.” The kindness in the voice echoed of a nurturing mother. As she sat and listened, the message of wanting to belong was a validated need in her life. Scared, she acted out. She sought what felt comfortable–only to be left with the same emptiness she had felt. How she saw herself was distorted.  She needed to visually see herself as a woman and, yet, a child. She understood how a child seeks the shelter of his mother’s love gave him a sense belongingness; she needed that, too. That little cup she thought she had to give was much bigger than she believed. Her needing love wasn’t bad. “It is okay to need someone. Sometimes you can use your voice to ask.” These were simple statements to hear, but not simple for he to do. Asking for herself is extremely hard. At times, you can catch her eyes flood up with tears when she felt she caused another to feel burden by a small request for a cup of water when sick or even to talk. Though, she felt she had the skills of a small child, she felt empowered by her taking the first step into choosing securing an adult attachment with her therapist. Maybe having this attachment form in adulthood could allow her to blossom into the woman who had every one of her essential needs met. With this new sense of being, she choose to take the next step.