Reason to Trust: I Trust My Own Ability to Trust Myself

I hear you telling me not to fall into the fairy tale of "love." You desire to have one man love you for who you are, and for him to complement you. Love isn't about how you need to act in order to get a certain thing. It isn't about jaded perceptions or streams of bitter little nothings repeated in my head. In having to live the life I had, I had experienced it in a way unique to others' eyes. I have found that life isn't about waiting till the storm to pass, but how you can learn to dance in the rain. Unclouding the way I see life is key to truly loving the moment I am living in spite of myself or others and even the residue of bitterness that clouds my eyes.

 

Love is about what grew inside of me long before I knew where true love really came from--the heavens above. Even in my emptiness right now, I have a part of me that still cries out I love because God first loved me. You can find that Bible verse truth in first John chapter four verse nineteen.  

http://www.polyvore.com/xxlovexx/set?id=10003157

"The euphoric feelings we call ‘love’ is the emotion that accompanies the experience of cathecting. Cathecting is the process  by which an object becomes important to a person. Once cathected, the object, often referred to as a ‘love object’ is invested with our energy as if it were a part of oneself, and this relationship between oneself and the invested object is called a cathexis. One’s cathexis may be fleeting and momentary. Genuine love implies commitment and exercise of wisdom. When one is concerned for someone’s spiritual and emotional growth, one knows that a lack of commitment is likely to be harmful and that commitment to that person is probably necessary for one to manifest one’s concern effectively. The concern and commitment to another’s spiritual and emotional growth is the purest form of love. It is for this reason that commitment is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship—friends, significant others, husband/wife.

Genuine love transcends the matter of cathexis. When love exists it does so with or without cathexis and with or without a loving feeling—those bursts of butterflies in the stomach, body tingling, etc.

It is easier—indeed, it is exhilarating—to love with cathexis and the euphoric feeling of love. However, it is possible to love without cathexis and without loving feelings, and it is in the fulfillment of this possibility that genuine and transcendent love is distinguished from simple cathexis. Genuine love is volitional rather than euphorically emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of ‘a decision to love.’ This person has made a commitment to ‘be loving,’ whether or not the loving feelings are present.

It can be difficult and painful to search for evidence of love in one’s actions, but because true love is an act of will that transcends ephemeral feelings of love or cathexis, it can be said, “Love is as love does.” Love and non-love, as good and evil, are objective and not purely subjective phenomena.