Each morning when I arise from night's slumber, I want and yearn to feel connected with my Lord and Savior. I at times push Him away, and get so caught up in what I have to do that I forget what it is like to spend quiet time with Him. Each morning his mercies are fresh and brand new. He doesn't hold a grudge against me nor does my Savior stop loving me. The moments I live are filled with opportunities to see, learn, feel, and know my Savior. I can be either the tenderhearted person wishing someone a good morning or see the woman, child, and man who is suffering inside but in the outside everything looks hunky dory. My heart's desire is to know who God is, and how He loved you and I so much that He sacrificed the love of His Son for every person alive. Lately, I am hearing God speak to me, but have I even taken a moment to do what I feel the Spirit is leading me? Nope. Honestly, no. I start cussing up a storm and just rather be beaten for my sins, instead of confessing to Him that I don't deserve His love whatsoever. Then, in the moment I feel so far away, I hear on the radio, "everyone needs compassion, a little understanding...Savior He can move the mountains. My God is mighty to save. He is mighty to save. Forever Author of salvation, Jesus conquered the grave," and I am just left in complete utter awe that He would love someone like me. I think about Pastor Byerly preaching a God-delivered message about the duality of human nature to sin, and it is in the very nature we've been created in that battles the same struggle Adam and Eve struggled with having freedom of choice. Their sin created within the rest of humanity a struggle mentally, emotionally, and physically to do the will of God rather than be self-indulgent but self-sacrificing in nature like Jesus upon the cross at Calvary. No matter what the day brings to me, I realize, I am blessed with the hurts and pains and struggles because somehow I believe it is an opportunity to grow in Christ's love and become more like Him. And, as Proverbs 4:18 states, "The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, shining ever brighter till the full light of day." If I make that pathway leading straight to the eyes of my Savior, I will then begin to comprehend that it isn't any of my own might or power I can overcome or do, but it is His love and Spirit inside of me that carries me through tumultuous times and even the happiest of moments lived. To lose this, would be considered, in my eyes, self-inflicted death with a motive, purpose, and ending. I never want to get there. So, Jesus, bring me anything that brings You for I know You will be glorified because It is not of my will but only Yours that allows me the chance to love and live without fear or pain. I give my love to each and every one of you and though I may never know you face to face I wish for you the peace that is everlasting and a love that is beyond any condition we may put for ourselves or on others. Good night.
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