Taking Up My Cross

There have been times both present and future where I fail to remember that God requires of me a moment by moment reminder to take up my cross—do what He requires of me for His glory and kingdom. Philippians 3:14 states that, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” I believe what the Holy Spirit has laid upon my heart is that in spite of my circumstances I should press on toward the goal of an eternity spent with Him, and what God requires of me to do is to “take up my cross” and follow him. This means the circumstance I live in and through today must be laid before Jesus’ feet, humbly, in order for me to follow Christ with the message He has given to me to share.

This message are for those people who are hurting like I am, believing they are unseen, or feeling the effects of having been isolated in your world around bunches of people so busy to notice or maybe care to put their hand out and reach out to say, “God loves you and He does not forsake you, even if you feel like He has.” There was a time in my life when I was a young teenager and I had just accepted the Lord as my Savior, and I thought now that Christ became Lord over my life He would protect me from being sexually abused. I felt God had abandoned me in those days. Now that my faith has allowed me to spiritually grow, I believe it alludes to the passage in Deuteronomy 1:29-31 where it states something like, “like as a father carries a son, the Lord your God has carried you.” It was in those moments when I was unseen and unheard and felt unloved that God loved me, cared about me, and allowed me to survive when all I wanted was to die. I love the Bible verse 1 John 4:19, “I love because God first loved me.” To me, 1 John 4:19 means that born out of the spirit of God’s love and need for me in His kingdom here on earth, my parents were the ones chosen to birth me and raise me to at least know of God and be the person who God always seen me as, a child of His…fully dependent on Him. Man will always fail me. There will be times in my life I have been able to build a trust and bond between my sisters and brothers in Christ and a few who are not. I offer the love the Lord has given unto me to all of those who come my way and reach my hand out to those who are hurting right here and now, at least it my heart’s desire to and I still heavenly bound blurred vision cause of my own circumstance I live here and now. I feel brokenhearted at times but not defeated.

I feel blessed to even feel the hurt inside of me because there is nothing except the utmost deadliest sin, suicide, which would change my favor in God’s eyes. Why? I believe suicide is me disallowing the Holy Spirit work through and in me, and with the Holy Spirit doing that any longer then I have done the deadliest and most unforgivable sin. I know it says it the Bible somewhere not to rely on your own understanding, but this message has been heavy on my heart as I have gone through some really trying times. So, as I end this post, I want to wish you a glimpse of His love from me. I wish you well. I wish you peace. I wish you comfort, but most of all I wish you comfort from the Lord.
There have been times both present and future where I fail to remember that God requires of me a moment by moment reminder to take up my cross—do what He requires of me for His glory and kingdom. Philippians 3:14 states that, “I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

I believe what the Holy Spirit has laid upon my heart is that in spite of my circumstances I should press on toward the goal of an eternity spent with Him, and what God requires of me to do is to “take up my cross” and follow him. This means the circumstance I live in and through today must be laid before Jesus’ feet, humbly, in order for me to follow Christ with the message He has given to me to share.

This message are for those people who are hurting like I am, believing they are unseen, or feeling the effects of having been isolated in your world around bunches of people so busy to notice or maybe care to put their hand out and reach out to say, “God loves you and He does not forsake you, even if you feel like He has.”

There was a time in my life when I was a young teenager and I had just accepted the Lord as my Savior, and I thought now that Christ became Lord over my life He would protect me from being sexually abused. I felt God had abandoned me in those days. Now that my faith has allowed me to spiritually grow, I believe it alludes to the passage in Deuteronomy 1:29-31 where it states something like, “like as a father carries a son, the Lord your God has carried you.” It was in those moments when I was unseen and unheard and felt unloved that God loved me, cared about me, and allowed me to survive when all I wanted was to die. I love the Bible verse 1 John 4:19, “I love because God first loved me.” To me, 1 John 4:19 means that born out of the spirit of God’s love and need for me in His kingdom here on earth, my parents were the ones chosen to birth me and raise me to at least know of God and be the person who God always seen me as, a child of His…fully dependent on Him. Man will always fail me. There will be times in my life I have been able to build a trust and bond between my sisters and brothers in Christ and a few who are not. I offer the love the Lord has given unto me to all of those who come my way and reach my hand out to those who are hurting right here and now, at least it my heart’s desire to and I still heavenly bound blurred vision cause of my own circumstance I live here and now. I feel brokenhearted at times but not defeated.

I feel blessed to even feel the hurt inside of me because there is nothing except the utmost deadliest sin, suicide, which would change my favor in God’s eyes. Why? I believe suicide is me disallowing the Holy Spirit work through and in me, and with the Holy Spirit doing that any longer then I have done the deadliest and most unforgivable sin. I know it says it the Bible somewhere not to rely on your own understanding, but this message has been heavy on my heart as I have gone through some really trying times. So, as I end this post, I want to wish you a glimpse of His love from me. I wish you well. I wish you peace. I wish you comfort, but most of all I wish you comfort from the Lord.